


Software Instability

by Yacer_Sho



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkward Flirting, Comfort/Angst, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor Has a Goldfish, Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), Existential Crisis, Fear of Death, Gen, Hank Anderson & Connor Friendship, Hank Being Awesome, Short & Sweet, it dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 08:35:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20239909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yacer_Sho/pseuds/Yacer_Sho
Summary: After Connor's goldfish dies, he finally grasps the true meaning of grief and has an existential crisis. He realizes that he is an android who will outlive Hank and Sumo, his only world, and he's afraid of losing them. But the fish was a small insignificant life, what about someone he's known for more than a year with thoughts, feelings, and emotions?





	Software Instability

"I'm sorry, Connor. I know it's sad, but it was going to happen eventually." Hank pat his roommate on the back in a reassuring manner, but the android didn't move.

Connor was sitting on a chair that was placed in front of the tank so Connor could watch the fish whenever he wanted without the hassle of standing all the time.

Even if Connor was a perfect android mimicking a human, Hank thought his legs would grow tired. He didn't speak, aside from the occasional whimper or sniffle.

A small tank complete with a filter was decorated with dark blue gravel and and plastic plants sat on an end table housed in the living room so Connor could look at it anytime he wanted.

And at the bottom, was a motionless Fantail goldfish with common orange scales and a butterfly tail with white at the tips.

It was almost like a centerpiece in the living room as it swam around happily in its tank. Hank wanted to get Connor a Dwarf Gourami, but he wanted to start simple first when he entrusted the android with a life, and a fancier fish required more tender loving care than the poor android could offer after finally realizing he was "human".

Connor was made to be an investigator for hunting criminals, and didn't have the basic coding of a regular housekeeper android like Markus or Kara. Connor was basically reborn, in a sense, after becoming a deviant, so almost everything was new to him.

Of course, he could always download information and be instantly good at it like cooking or cleaning, but the two of them both knew they needed a fresh start. The fish was gifted to Connor, the RK800 model, one year ago by Lieutenant Hank Anderson to congratulate him on becoming a deviant.

The currents in the water caused by the filter moved the fish on the gravel, and Hank involuntarily winced at the cold dead eyes staring right into his soul. Sighing, Hank turned off the filter and the light to keep Connor from staring at the dead fish, but Connor wasn't moving. Sumo, sensing the tension, was resting his large head on his lap and kept whimpering.

The android was solemnly petting his head and studying the floor, his brown eyes narrowed in a way that he was lost in thought.

In truth, he was calculating everything that could have went wrong with the goldfish's environment. His LED was yellow and spinning, indicting the Stress emotion in his software. In an instant, the LED turned red and Connor was cursing under his breath. "D-Did I overfeed her? Maybe I didn't feed her enough. Maybe the tank wasn't the right size? Maybe-"

"Connor," The frantic android kept rambling on and on, despite Hank trying to calm him down. He kept trying to come up with reasons as to why the fish had perished like that so easily, but he's had her for more than a year and she was in perfect health yesterday.

"Connor, it's just a fish. I'll get you another one. And you obviously didn't do anything wrong. The goldfish-"

"Her name was Trico, Hank." The android snapped, and Sumo took his head off his lap in fear.

"Sumo, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell..." The Saint Bernard paid him no mind and flopped onto the kitchen floor next to his food bowl.

"I'm sorry too, Hank." He sighed, standing to his feet. He readjusted his uniform and risked a look at the dead goldfish again.

The pet he was entrusted to by Hank as a present for becoming deviant. She may have only been a fish, but she loved Connor. It was as if Trico knew she was for him.

The goldfish would frantically move her head back and forth and press her head as close to the glass as possible whenever the android looked at her, and he would smile.

It was silly, of course, watching a fish excitedly wag its beautiful tail after seeing her favorite human alive and well after coming home from the DPD.

Connor has actually tried to pet her sometimes by sticking his finger in the water and let her glide against it as carefully as possible, but Hank would always get mad at Connor for sticking his finger into a gross fish tank.

"You shouldn't be apologizing, Connor. This is grief, and it's understandable. She loved you, and you loved her. You gave Trico a wonderful life and she knew that."

The android's lip quivered to hold in tears he didn't know he had, and in a solemn manner he pressed his hand to the glass and revealed his synthetic layer to the dead fish.

"B-But, she was just fine yesterday. I mean, she stayed close to the bottom of the tank but I thought she just wanted to rest. And I read online that they live ten years."

Hank crossed his arms and pursed his lips together while trying to think of what to say. After the loss of Cole, Hank was devastated beyond repair, and thus turned to drinking and suicidal tendencies.

As for Hank's wife, Connor didn't dare pry, but every once and awhile Hank would hint at the fact she divorced him. Since Cole's death on October 11, 2035, Hank had no one but Sumo in his life for four years except the dog could only do so much to make his owner happy.

It was Connor who broke through the dark and gave him light, and the three of them have been inseparable since.

"She was probably old when we got her, kid. And if you keep looking at her like that, it'll just make you feel worse. I'll find a bag and flush her down the toilet."

Connor took his hand off the tank and reactivated the skin over the white silicon. He was almost in shock over what Hank just suggested, his brown eyes widening as he looked Hank into his blue eyes with parted lips. "Is that what all humans do?"

The Lieutenant shrugged, and Connor took another look at Trico.

The dead goldfish stared back with her soulless eyes as if pleading with her owner to let her go.

It wasn't a funeral, but the tank needed to be cleaned and taken apart unless Connor wanted another fish. It would take a while to convince him though, but he would probably get a different kind and name it something new.

His LED went from red to yellow as Hank went into the kitchen to get a plastic bag, then grabbed the fish net and opened the aquarium hood, then scooped her out and put her in the bag.

He was about to walk into the bathroom, expecting the android to follow him, but Connor silently put his hands up.

He wanted to be the one to let Trico go, since he loved her so much. Hank didn't say anything and handed the fish to Connor. He blinked as he rose the bag to eye level to take in her small form one last time. His mind played back to when he first acted as a deviant by saving that fish in the high rise apartment.

He remembered smiling as it swam away, and felt glad in knowing the fish got another chance at life. With Trico, she was long gone.

"Connor?" Hank asked, waving a hand in front of the android's blank face.

"Yes, Hank?" The lieutenant opened the bathroom door and turned on the light, allowing Connor to step inside first. He stared down at the toilet water and back to the fish, feeling himself hesitate with the bag.

His LED went back to spinning red remembering everything leading up to this moment. He remembered the day Hank presented the goldfish to Connor, explaining to him everything a fish needs to stay happy and healthy.

There were days where Connor was so engrossed with work and the revolution he forgot about her entirely, which he regrets now. With a heavy heart, he looks over at his roommate to confirm what he's going to do, and nods. The older man nods back, and Connor gulps. "I'll always remember you, Trico."

Pouring the fish out of the bag, she falls into the toilet and Connor wastes no time flushing her.

Connor finally breaks down and if there was any other color that could be worse than red, it would be spinning right now.

Tears were streaming down the android's face, and he whimpered here and there while holding the bag close to his chest and listened to the water slowly start to rise in the toilet. Connor sunk to his knees and choked a sob, his emotions going haywire.

A voice in his head, not his own, asked him a very important question he didn't have the answer to. "Why are emotions a heavy burden?"

Hank's heart started to palpitate, remembering how this was the same way he himself reacted to Cole's death.

Hank was holding his son's jacket in his arms inside the hospital waiting room, breathing in the scent he would never smell ever again now that his little boy was gone.

He didn't want to admit it, but Hank knew how heartbroken the android was. The android was sensitive in a lot of ways, he noticed.

If Connor noticed anything he found interesting or extraordinary, like the gold and blue sunset usually seen out the window in the kitchen, he'd stop doing dishes and find himself taking in the colors.

His blue LED would spin very slowly, which was the equivalent of being calm to a human. Hank would have to catch his attention to snap Connor out of whatever daze he was in, but there was no way of calming Connor down after this.

All Hank could do at the moment is console his friend, his partner, in hopes of showing the android he wasn't alone. He put a hand on Connor's shoulder and sighed, wiping away a single tear that managed to find its way down his bearded cheek.

He couldn't find the right words to express his condolences, but he came up with something, even if it doesn't help. "There’s nothing I can say right now to make you feel better. I wish I could, but I want you to know that I'm here for you."

Connor's cheeks were flushed blue due to the thirium in place of blood, which Hank widened his blue eyes at.

If Connor were human, his cheeks would be a pink/red, but instead, they were almost the same color as Hank's eyes. The android may have been a deviant, but he was still having doubts with everything he's done as a Deviant hunter.

It's true, he was hunting them a year and a half ago, but was only programmed to do so by Cyberlife.

Him turning deviant was his own doing, so it was expected of Connor to have sensitive emotions when it comes to life and death.

Hank ran the palm of his hand up and down Connor's upper arm to calm him down, but the poor android kept on sobbing. His lip quivered, his brown eyes were scrunched, and his breathing was frantic. It was amazing that an android could convey such emotions when they were originally programmed to be emotionless and stoic.

"It's alright... Come on, get up."

Sniffling, Connor came to his feet, still clutching the bag against his chest.

He didn't say anything and set his gaze on the floor.

"You just go ahead and cry it out. If you need me, I'll be taking apart the fish tank."

Connor's brown eyes blinked and he nodded in acknowledgment, eventually leaving the bathroom and heading into the guest bedroom, or what used to be Cole's room, where his soft sobs were barely heard as Hank awkwardly left to the living room to get rid of the tank.

Hank didn't want to intrude on Connor, especially in mourning, but after taking apart the tank the middle aged man had nothing better to do.

The tank, filter, and decorations were sitting on a shelf in the garage in case Connor ever wanted to use it again. Sumo was at his side, whimpering and nudging his large head against his hand.

The dog was telling his owner to console Connor, but Hank didn't know what to do.

Go inside the bedroom and find a way to make Connor happy again, or leave him alone to deal with his own feelings?

He's been a deviant for more than a year, so he should move on like any other human, right? Although, Trico was more than just a pet.

She was the personification of his triumph, to beat Cyberlife and be considered something other than a machine designed to accomplish a task and nothing else.

Trico was also a friend, and Hank found himself greeting the small goldfish whenever he passed by, and she would greet him back by wiggling her tail and opening her mouth over and over.

In fact, he found himself getting sad about Trico a little bit too. It wasn't like his heart was made of iron, but he realized that the only reason why he got Trico was because he could see a little bit of Connor in her.

She was special, not only to Connor, but to Hank as well. An insignificant thing to others, but to Hank and Connor, a very important pet. Sumo was going to die before or after Hank, so Connor would have another reason to grieve in less than a decade, but until that time comes they'll make the most of it.

Hank risked putting his hand on the doorknob, only resting it there. There were only two options.

Open the door, and don't open the door.

He could hear Connor crinkling the bag inside the bedroom, and a soft sigh was heard behind the door.

Hank couldn't delay anymore. He couldn't stand to see his friend like this, even over something so trivial as a fish.

Sumo was at his side still, awaiting the door to open. Opening the door, Connor's eyes widened and sat up, keeping one hand on the bed to keep himself up, and the other was holding the bag like if he were to let go, it would dissipate from his grasp and never come back.

"Hank?" Hank's blue eyes were set on something he never thought he'd see. The blue LED was on the floor, no longer spinning or blinking, the dullness of it almost worrying. Connor actually had the courage to rip out the only thing that reminded him he was still an android. Scissors were on the dresser on the right side of the bed, so it was concluded that Connor did it on his own free will.

"Your uh... LED or whatever..." Hank found it hard to make a sentence.

Sumo came to Connor's side and the android felt a bit better knowing his family was worried about him.

He caressed Sumo's head and neck, chuckling as the large Saint Bernard tried to lick him to make him feel better.

"My LED only got in the way. I'm much better without it." Connor's smile wavered and he placed his feet on the floor and sat on the bed properly.

Hank took a step forward, picking up the LED to inspect it. "Not too hard to pull these things out, huh?"

"That's what makes deviants hard to spot when they're out on the streets. We actually look like human beings." He moved his head to show Hank how quickly the wound cleared up, and Hank looked down at the LED again.

"Want me to throw this piece of shit device in the garbage?"

Connor looked down at the bag again and frowned, his brown eyes fixated on it. "Whatever makes you happy."

The Lieutenant frowned, shoving the LED in his pocket and confronting Connor. He snatched the bag from Connor's grasp, crumpling it up and keeping it behind his back.

"Hank! Give it back! Stop-"

"Why are you getting so worked up over a bag?"

Connor froze, his brown eyes widening for a minute.

His hands trembled in the air and he dropped them to his side with an ashamed look in his eyes.

"I... I don't know. Probably because she was in there the last time I ever saw her."

Sighing through his nose, Hank dropped the bag to the floor and wrapped his arms around the android.

Connor was taken aback at first, feeling Hank's heartbeat quickening as they pressed against each other just as they did in front of Chicken Feed.

Sumo was at their side, wagging his tail and pressing his face against their legs as if giving a hug without the use of his paws. Again, Connor broke down, hesitantly wrapping his own arms around his waist. "I-I'm scared, Hank." He sobbed out, his voice cracking. The grey haired man didn't move a muscle.

He knew Connor needed this. Everyone had to have an existential crisis at some point, and this was it. Even Hank found his vision start to blur from tears he didn't know he kept inside. "What are you scared of?" He asks, his brows furrowing.

"I'm scared of losing you and Sumo. I'm scared of losing everybody. If I'm kept in healthy conditions, I'll most likely live forever, surpassing any human I meet. And I don't... I don't want that!"

Hank was taken aback by his sudden outburst, but he pat him on the back and nodded along in understanding. "Even if you're afraid of the people you love dying, it's going to be a really long time before me or anyone else gets thrown under the bus, okay?"

"But when that time comes, what will I do? Trico was a small life to me, and look at how much I'm breaking down! What's going to happen when you die? Or Sumo? You're the only person who knows the real me! I was nothing but a machine before I met you and you helped me become deviant!" Hank was never good at helping someone feel better, let alone himself.

If Hank was having a bad day, he'd grab an entire bottle of whiskey and watch TV until blacking out.

He could understand Connor's conflicting feelings. You see, Connor wants to protect everyone he loves and keep them by his side forever. But he can't, and it pains him to know that soon, he'll never take Sumo for walks anymore.

He'll never get soaked from giving Sumo baths, and the large Saint Bernard would never jump out of the bathtub to escape. In thirty years or less, Connor will never have someone to wake up to.

He'll never hear the sizzling of bacon and the boiling of eggs in the tiny kitchen, the jazz music playing on low so Connor can not only enjoy the music, but Hank can sleep without getting rudely awakened.

And when Hank does wake up, or if Connor has to drag him out of bed with the promise of a homemade breakfast and coffee, Hank always has a grateful smile on his face and eats every single bite just to make Connor happy, but it's so tasty Hank can't help but enjoy it.

It's just how Carl Manfred said. "Humans are such fragile machines."

And Connor understood that. He may have been deviant for more than a year, but this was the first time he ever really thought about life and death.

Hank's lip quivered and his grip loosened a bit. He hadn't realized just how tightly he was hugging Connor before the creases on his shirt stopped sticking to his skin and ruffled out.

"I didn't help you become deviant at all, Connor. You did it on your own free will. You won against Cyberlife, and everything is fine."

Connor buried his face into Hank's shoulder and nodded solemnly. "Can we just... stay like this for a little while longer?"

Playfully rolling his eyes, Hank ruffled the android's hair and nodded. "Sure, why not."

* * *

It's been five months since Trico's death, and Connor gradually felt better.

He knew he couldn't replace the one he had lost so easily, but once he passed by a pet store and saw a silver goldfish who excitedly wiggled at his presence, Connor couldn't help but smile and ask to buy it. Hank wasn't too keen about having another goldfish, but once Connor told him that the name of the fish was Peppy, Hank couldn't help but laugh and aid Connor in fixing the tank.

Peppy was more than happy to have a tank of his own with people who loved him.

As of current, Connor and Hank are sitting outside on some chairs, a fire pit burning wood in front of them. Hank has a glass of whiskey in his hand, but only at the reasonable amount. Connor put him on a strict diet to keep his health up, but every once in a while the android allowed Hank to drink a reasonable amount of alcohol to make him happy.

The night air soothed Connor to the point where he thought of going into sleep mode or dosing off, but Hank was telling interesting stories about his life with Sumo lying on the grass, chewing on a ball that squeaked every once in a while. At one point, Connor found himself staring into space, watching the fire.

The particles floated into the air and disintegrated from lack of oxygen, and the android continued listened to Hank ramble on about joining the DPD in the first place, but he eventually found himself not paying attention. His sleep mode protocol turned on, and he was transported back into the zen garden where he always met with Amanda.

In a scared daze, he looks around at all the trees and flowers that used to be in full bloom, their once beautiful colors now either dead or dying.

The small pond was covered in algae and the boat was broken, its bow sticking out of the disgusting water.

Connor was scared, walking on the pathways and taking in the horrible, decayed wasteland that was his subconscious mind. "Well, well Connor. It's been a while since I've seen you." Amanda's voice broke the silence, and Connor turned to see Amanda standing there with a disapproving look on her face.

"A-Amanda... Why am I back? Why are you here?" The woman smiled and readjusted her black and red shawl resting on her shoulder.

Turning his back on him, she looks towards the pond and shakes her head. "I just wanted to see how you've been. After all, there have been many changes to your software. In your data-bank, it's states that you cried over the death of a loved one."

Connor took a step back and tried to look for a way out. Cyberlife could be trying to let his guard down and take over Connor once he woke up.

What would Hank be thinking, knowing he isn't waking up?

"Incredible." Amanda laughed, almost surprised that an android was capable of crying.

She turned to Connor, her smile unfading. "I know what you're thinking, Connor."

She started walking towards him in small, patient steps, for she knew Connor couldn't go anywhere even if he wanted to.

He was frozen in fear, seeing the woman who forced him to stay a machine and kill androids who just wanted to be free.

"You're thinking we're going to try and deactivate you from the inside. We already know that the deviants won, we have no use for you anymore."

She stopped in front of him, and looked Connor in the eye, smiling still.

"Then what are you doing here?" Amanda sighed, caressing his cheek and fixing some hair that fell out of place.

"Is it wrong of me to check on my favorite android? It was nice catching up, Connor. See you soon."

Before Connor could reply, his mind allowed him to wake up, a gasp coming his throat.

By the time he woke up, the fire had been put out and Hank was nowhere to be found.

Smoke rose from the wood and Connor stood up, shivering slightly due to the cold.

Using his android abilities, he learned that it was well past 3 am.

He and Hank were talking around 1 am, so Connor was out for a good two hours before waking up.

What felt like only a few minutes lasted as long as a movie.

He stood to his feet and opened the back door to head back inside. None of the lights were on, so Hank and Sumo must have gone to bed.

Sighing, Connor turns on a light and watches Peppy swim around in his tank before turning off the lights connected to the tank.

Hesitantly opening the bedroom door to Hank's room, he finds that Hank isn't actually sleeping. He's just lying there, reading a book with actual, yellowing pages. His rectangular reading glasses were housed on the nasal bridge of his nose and he looked up momentarily to see who walked in.

"Took you long enough. For a minute there, I thought you deactivated or something." Connor laughed coldly, awkwardly twiddling his thumbs and noticed Sumo lying at the foot of the bed.

One thing could be said about Sumo, he's lazy.

"Nope, I'm still here." Smiling, Hank pats the covers, instructing Connor to sit beside him so they could read the book together.

Connor's lips curl into a smile, and he happily sits beside Hank.


End file.
